This topic is a little bit more intense and serious, so if you don't want to read it, you don't have to! But I wanted to share something about a subject that is near to my heart:
I really love this organization. I love it because body image and the media is something that I had never really thought much about or applied to my own life. However, as I read the information, I realized how true their message is. The research-based, peer-reviewed type of true. Which I can appreciate, after two years of grad school. I saw the evidence of it's truth in my own life.
I also appreciated it because reading the information was a huge relief. As I read the blogs for the first time, I felt like a burden was being lifted from my shoulders.
I also appreciated it because reading the information was a huge relief. As I read the blogs for the first time, I felt like a burden was being lifted from my shoulders.
The thing is, you guys, I don't think I can name one woman I know who, if they don't have a diagnosed "eating disorder," hasn't demonstrated disordered eating, or at the very least a skewed perspective on food, health, beauty, and body image.
They go on diets.
They skip meals when they "feel fat," or want to "feel skinny" (fat and skinny aren't feelings).
They separate foods into "good" and "bad" categories.
They buy into the latest weight loss fads, stress when they don't make it to the gym that day, speak negatively about their bodies and appearance.
They check the mirror, examine every bulge, roll, and curve to make sure it hasn't grown since they woke up that morning.
And, whether it's conscious or unconscious, women compare themselves to other women, whether it's friends and family members, the jogger they drove past, or actresses and models in the media.
In fact, the first time I remember consciously worrying about my own body was at my preschool graduation. I was four or five and wearing shorts. I remember wondering why my thighs did not look like the little girl's sitting next to me, and wishing mine looked more like hers.
They go on diets.
They skip meals when they "feel fat," or want to "feel skinny" (fat and skinny aren't feelings).
They separate foods into "good" and "bad" categories.
They buy into the latest weight loss fads, stress when they don't make it to the gym that day, speak negatively about their bodies and appearance.
They check the mirror, examine every bulge, roll, and curve to make sure it hasn't grown since they woke up that morning.
And, whether it's conscious or unconscious, women compare themselves to other women, whether it's friends and family members, the jogger they drove past, or actresses and models in the media.
In fact, the first time I remember consciously worrying about my own body was at my preschool graduation. I was four or five and wearing shorts. I remember wondering why my thighs did not look like the little girl's sitting next to me, and wishing mine looked more like hers.
What a way to live. It's a lot of pressure, isn't it? I did, and still sometimes do, all of those things. I have been aware of my body and it's "imperfections" for as long as I can remember, and began demonstrating a distorted mentality regarding food, weight, and my own body at a very young age. Eventually, I began resorting to extremes because I wanted to look a certain way. But you know what? None of it worked, not permanently. I was never completely satisfied if I lost weight, and I didn't do it in healthy or realistic ways, so it all came back anyways. Life was stressful, frustrating, and limited for a long time, more so than I even realized it was, due to consistent worry and distress over my weight-from about age 12 to 23. And guess what? I was not, nor have I ever been, fat or overweight. In fact, I was often told how thin I was. I loved comments like those.
So, if I was never overweight...why all the concern?
I think I, like many people, was more afraid of becoming fat. Of the stigma. The message we receive is that "overweight" body types are unacceptable. If you don't fit into an aesthetically acceptable weight category, you're an outcast, you are unattractive, boys won't want you, you will be alone, you will be unhappy (or at least not as happy as you could be if you were skinny) etc. You don't deserve the same kind of happiness others do. When you're thin, it's completely opposite. The thinner you are, the more attractive, desirable, satisfied, loved, and together you are. These messages are obviously untrue on both counts, but I wasn't even aware I had bought into the lies. From a very young age, though these messages may not have been consciously processed, I heard them loud and clear from many different sources...but none more regularly and more consistently than the media-T.V. shows, movies, magazines, commercials, music, etc.
Bodies are meant to be cared for, because their purpose is to allow you live a fulfilling life. When functioning properly, bodies are meant to allow a person to see, hear, smell, and taste wonderful things. It's meant to actively engage in things that interest you, that you love to do, that are good for you. Bodies are supposed to be taken care of, so that you can experience and participate in all the great things life has to offer. So of course you should strive to be healthy!
But since when did "healthy" translate to looking a certain way?
Last I checked, healthy is a state of being, a "state of being fit," "wholesome, sound, not diseased," or, my favorite: "of sound and vigorous mentality." Nothing in there about hitting some arbitrary number on the scale or fitting into size ___ jeans.
Some people might say "Sure, but I know I'm the most healthy for me when I'm size ___ pant/___lbs." However, if you're distressed and feeling negatively about yourself because you're not currently that size or number, or if you are fixated on maintaining it, then that is not a "sound and vigorous mentality." Not healthy. Motivation to be healthy should stem from desires to act, to play, to fully experience life-not from a desire to look a certain way. True and lasting happiness doesn't come from appearance, because by nature, bodies and looks change. They grow, they age, and they reflect life's greatest adventures, some of which necessitate body changes. So, while being healthy is a worthy goal and one we should all strive to pursue, if your perception of "healthy" revolves around achieving certain beauty standards and appearing a certain way (i.e. "thin", "toned," etc), you won't ever be truly healthy, and it becomes difficult to achieve genuine happiness and fulfillment.
Some people might say "Sure, but I know I'm the most healthy for me when I'm size ___ pant/___lbs." However, if you're distressed and feeling negatively about yourself because you're not currently that size or number, or if you are fixated on maintaining it, then that is not a "sound and vigorous mentality." Not healthy. Motivation to be healthy should stem from desires to act, to play, to fully experience life-not from a desire to look a certain way. True and lasting happiness doesn't come from appearance, because by nature, bodies and looks change. They grow, they age, and they reflect life's greatest adventures, some of which necessitate body changes. So, while being healthy is a worthy goal and one we should all strive to pursue, if your perception of "healthy" revolves around achieving certain beauty standards and appearing a certain way (i.e. "thin", "toned," etc), you won't ever be truly healthy, and it becomes difficult to achieve genuine happiness and fulfillment.
Healthy looks different on everybody...meaning that people who don't fit the media standard of beauty (a.k.a rail thin) may be completely normal, healthy, fit individuals. Additionally, those who are rail thin may also be completely normal, fit, and healthy. None of us are exactly the same...so why are we all expected to fit the exact same mold and aspire to the same standard of appearance? Since when did the terms "healthy," "beautiful," "in-shape," etc become so one-dimensional?
Check out the website I posted at the top to learn more about how our society has succumbed to media pressures and bought into complex marketing schemes. Additionally, read more about how the media has normalized and mainstreamed pornography, and how it's affecting men, women, and body expectations. These articles had me rethinking my views and gave me new perspective on my own body, as well as how bodies in general are exploited in the name of money, sex, and fashion.
Letting go of weight worries is a conscious decision that I have to make every day, but doing so has changed my life for the better. I hope this does the same for someone else.
Letting go of weight worries is a conscious decision that I have to make every day, but doing so has changed my life for the better. I hope this does the same for someone else.
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