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This topic is a little bit more personal and serious, so if that's not what you're into, you may want to turn back now. It's also a bit longer, because this is something I care about, so I've got opinions. You have been warned!
Before I start, let me share a resource that has been invaluable to changing the way I view my own body:
I really love this organization. I love it because body image and the media is something to which I had never really given much thought. I knew some girls had low self-esteem, and that was a problem, but otherwise, I remained indifferent. However, as I read the information provided by the girls at beautyRedfined, I realized how true their message is. I was able to see the evidence of it's truth in my own life. As I learned more, I felt like a burden was being lifted from my shoulders. I hope it does the same for all those who out there who feel as though they are engaged in a power struggle with their body.
The thing is, you guys, I don't think I can name one woman I know who, if they don't have a diagnosed "eating disorder," hasn't demonstrated disordered eating in some form, or at the very least a skewed perspective on food, health, beauty, and body image.
Women go on diets.
They skip meals when they "feel fat," or want to "feel skinny" (fat and skinny aren't feelings).
They separate foods into "good" and "bad" categories, and feel guilty when they eat a "bad food."
They stress about being able to "lose the baby weight" after their body has just performed a miraculous feat.
They take a taste of food then spit it out without swallowing, to avoid ingesting the calories.
They cut out entire food groups from their diet (i.e. "I'm off sugar," "I don't eat carbs," etc).
They review everything they have had to eat that day.
They buy into the latest weight loss fads and cleanses, stress when they don't make it to the gym that day, and speak negatively about their bodies and appearance.
They check the mirror, examining every bulge, roll, and curve to make sure it hasn't grown since they woke up that morning.
And, consciously or unconsciously, women compare themselves to other women, whether it's friends and family members, the jogger they drove past, or actresses and models in the media.
In fact, the first time I remember consciously worrying about my own body was at my preschool graduation. I know, right? I was four or five and wearing shorts. I remember wondering why my thighs did not look like the little girl's sitting next to me, and wishing mine looked more like hers.
Somehow, many of these behaviors have become normal and acceptable.
And if you're not currently engaging in some sort of weight loss journey yourself, you almost feel guilty, don't you? Shouldn't you be trying to keep up with everyone else who is losing weight?
Women go on diets.
They skip meals when they "feel fat," or want to "feel skinny" (fat and skinny aren't feelings).
They separate foods into "good" and "bad" categories, and feel guilty when they eat a "bad food."
They stress about being able to "lose the baby weight" after their body has just performed a miraculous feat.
They take a taste of food then spit it out without swallowing, to avoid ingesting the calories.
They cut out entire food groups from their diet (i.e. "I'm off sugar," "I don't eat carbs," etc).
They review everything they have had to eat that day.
They buy into the latest weight loss fads and cleanses, stress when they don't make it to the gym that day, and speak negatively about their bodies and appearance.
They check the mirror, examining every bulge, roll, and curve to make sure it hasn't grown since they woke up that morning.
And, consciously or unconsciously, women compare themselves to other women, whether it's friends and family members, the jogger they drove past, or actresses and models in the media.
In fact, the first time I remember consciously worrying about my own body was at my preschool graduation. I know, right? I was four or five and wearing shorts. I remember wondering why my thighs did not look like the little girl's sitting next to me, and wishing mine looked more like hers.
Somehow, many of these behaviors have become normal and acceptable.
And if you're not currently engaging in some sort of weight loss journey yourself, you almost feel guilty, don't you? Shouldn't you be trying to keep up with everyone else who is losing weight?
What a way to live. It's a lot of pressure, and it comes at you externally as well as internally. I've done many of the things listed above. I have been aware of my body and it's "imperfections" for as long as I can remember, and began demonstrating a distorted mentality regarding food, weight, and my own body at a very young age. Eventually, for a short time, I began resorting to extremes because I wanted to look a certain way. But you know what? None of it worked; not permanently. I was never completely satisfied if I lost weight, and I didn't do it in healthy or realistic ways, so it all came back anyway. Life from ages 12-23 was stressful, frustrating, and limited, more so than I even realized it was, due to consistent worry and distress over my weight. And guess what? I was not, nor have I ever been, fat or overweight. In fact, I was often told how thin I was. I loved comments like those.
So, if I was never overweight, why all the concern?
I think I, like many people, was more afraid of becoming fat. Of the stigma. The message we constantly receive is that "overweight" body types are unacceptable. The media tells us that if you don't fit into an aesthetically acceptable weight category (or even if you do, but your thighs touch, or you have hips, or your tummy sticks out a little bit), you are unattractive, you must be fixed, boys won't want you, you will be alone, you will be unhappy (or at least not as happy as you could be if you were skinny), etc. You don't deserve the same kind of happiness others do. When you're thin,(or "fit," or "toned," or whatever trendy adjective is currently being used to disguise the word "skinny"), the media portrays the opposite scenario. The thinner you are, the more attractive, desirable, satisfied, loved, and together you must be. These messages are obviously untrue on both counts, but for a very long time, I wasn't aware I had bought into the lies. From a very young age, though these messages may not have been consciously processed, I heard them loud and clear from many different sources, but none more loudly and more insistently than the media-T.V. shows, movies, magazines, commercials, books, music, etc.
Bodies are meant to be cared for, because their purpose is to allow you live a fulfilling life. When functioning properly, bodies are meant to allow a person to see, hear, smell, feel, and taste wonderful things. It's meant to actively engage in activities that interest you, that you love to do, that are good for you. Bodies are supposed to be taken care of, so that you can experience and participate in all the great things life has to offer. So of course you should strive to be healthy!
But since when did "healthy" translate to looking a certain way?
Last I checked, healthy is a state of being, a "state of being fit," "wholesome, sound, not diseased," or, my favorite: "of sound and vigorous mentality." Nothing in there about hitting some arbitrary number on the scale or fitting into size ___ jeans.
Some people might say: "Sure, but I know I'm the most healthy for me when I'm size ___ pant/___lbs." However, if you're distressed and feeling negatively about yourself because you're not currently that size or number, or if you are fixated on maintaining it, then that is not a "sound and vigorous mentality." Not healthy. Motivation to be healthy should stem from desires to act, to play, to fully experience life-not from a desire to look a specific way. True and lasting happiness doesn't come from appearance, because by nature, bodies and looks do not stay the same. They grow, they age, and they reflect life's greatest adventures, some of which necessitate body changes. So, while being healthy is a worthy goal and one we should all strive to pursue, if your perception of "healthy" revolves around achieving certain beauty standards and appearing a particular way (i.e. "lean," "toned," "in-shape" "insert-trendy-adjective-here," etc), you won't ever be truly healthy, and it becomes difficult to achieve genuine happiness and fulfillment.
Some people might say: "Sure, but I know I'm the most healthy for me when I'm size ___ pant/___lbs." However, if you're distressed and feeling negatively about yourself because you're not currently that size or number, or if you are fixated on maintaining it, then that is not a "sound and vigorous mentality." Not healthy. Motivation to be healthy should stem from desires to act, to play, to fully experience life-not from a desire to look a specific way. True and lasting happiness doesn't come from appearance, because by nature, bodies and looks do not stay the same. They grow, they age, and they reflect life's greatest adventures, some of which necessitate body changes. So, while being healthy is a worthy goal and one we should all strive to pursue, if your perception of "healthy" revolves around achieving certain beauty standards and appearing a particular way (i.e. "lean," "toned," "in-shape" "insert-trendy-adjective-here," etc), you won't ever be truly healthy, and it becomes difficult to achieve genuine happiness and fulfillment.
Healthy looks different on everybody...meaning that people who don't fit the media standard of beauty (a.k.a rail thin) may be completely normal, healthy, fit individuals. Additionally, those who are rail thin may also be completely normal, fit, and healthy. None of us are exactly the same...so why are we all expected to fit the exact same mold and aspire to the same standard of appearance? Since when did the terms "healthy," "beautiful," "in-shape," etc become so one-dimensional?
I would encourage everyone, male and female, young and old, to learn more about how our society has succumbed to media-created ideals and bought into complex marketing schemes. Educate yourself on how the media has normalized and mainstreamed pornography, and how it's affecting men, women, and body expectations. Become discerning, learn how to recognize and filter the insidious messages disguised as entertainment and flashy advertising that we're exposed to at every turn. Get a true perspective regarding your own body, as well as how bodies in general are exploited in the name of money, sex, and fashion.
Letting go of weight worries is a conscious decision that I have to make every day, but doing so has changed my life exponentially for the better. I hope this does the same for someone else.
*This post was written awhile ago, but I wanted to repost it. If you made it all the way down here, you're patient! And thanks for reading :)
Letting go of weight worries is a conscious decision that I have to make every day, but doing so has changed my life exponentially for the better. I hope this does the same for someone else.
*This post was written awhile ago, but I wanted to repost it. If you made it all the way down here, you're patient! And thanks for reading :)
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